Six Sides and a Window

The ticket booth of the old cinema is a small glass box. It stands by the front door. Inside there is a stool and a lamp. There is also a little metal tray for money. The glass has a round hole at the bottom. People pass their coins through it.

Loket tiket bioskop tua itu adalah kotak kaca kecil. Letaknya di dekat pintu depan. Di dalamnya ada sebuah bangku dan sebuah lampu. Ada juga baki logam kecil untuk uang. Kacanya punya lubang bundar di bagian bawah. Orang-orang menyodorkan koin mereka lewat lubang itu.

Dalia sits in the booth every Saturday. She is sixteen. The job is quiet, and she likes quiet. She sells tickets, tears them in half and gives back the change. Between films, she reads a book on her knee.

Dalia duduk di loket itu setiap hari Sabtu. Usianya enam belas tahun. Pekerjaannya tenang, dan ia suka ketenangan. Ia menjual tiket, menyobeknya jadi dua, dan memberikan uang kembalian. Di sela-sela film, ia membaca buku di atas lututnya.

Every Saturday at ten past four, a boy comes to her window. His name is Paolo. She knows it because a friend at school tells her. He is tall and thin. He wears a green scarf even in summer.

Setiap hari Sabtu pukul empat lewat sepuluh, seorang cowok datang ke jendelanya. Namanya Paolo. Ia tahu nama itu karena seorang teman di sekolah memberitahunya. Cowok itu tinggi dan kurus. Ia memakai syal hijau bahkan di musim panas.

Paolo always does the same thing. He puts a small cloth bag on the counter. He opens it and takes out a die. He rolls it on the metal tray. It clicks and spins and stops.

Paolo selalu melakukan hal yang sama. Ia meletakkan kantong kain kecil di meja loket. Ia membukanya dan mengeluarkan sebuah dadu. Ia melemparnya di baki logam. Dadu itu berdetak, berputar, lalu berhenti.

He looks at the die for a long time. Then he looks at Dalia. Then he buys a ticket.

Ia menatap dadu itu lama sekali. Lalu ia menatap Dalia. Lalu ia membeli tiket.

The first time, Dalia finds it funny. The second time, she finds it strange. Now it is the sixth Saturday, and she is tired of it.

Pertama kali, Dalia merasa itu lucu. Kedua kalinya, ia merasa itu aneh. Sekarang sudah Sabtu keenam, dan ia lelah dengan semua itu.

Today the line behind Paolo is long. Six people wait with their coats and their popcorn money. Dalia sees them look at their watches.

Hari ini antrean di belakang Paolo panjang. Enam orang menunggu dengan mantel dan uang untuk membeli berondong jagung. Dalia melihat mereka memandang jam tangan masing-masing.

Paolo puts the bag on the tray. The dice click together in the bag.

Paolo meletakkan kantong itu di baki. Dadu-dadu di dalam kantong berdenting beradu.

"Please don't," Dalia says.

"Tolong jangan," kata Dalia.

Paolo stops with his hand in the bag. "Sorry?"

Paolo berhenti dengan tangan di dalam kantong. "Maaf?"

"The dice. Please don't roll them today. People wait."

"Dadunya. Tolong jangan dilempar hari ini. Orang-orang menunggu."

Paolo looks behind him. He sees the line. He moves his hand away from the tray. "Okay," he says in a low voice. "One ticket for the half-past-four film, please."

Paolo menoleh ke belakang. Ia melihat antrean itu. Ia menjauhkan tangannya dari baki. "Oke," katanya dengan suara rendah. "Satu tiket untuk film setengah lima, tolong."

Dalia tears the ticket. She pushes it through the hole. He gives her the coins. His fingers are cold. He looks at her as if he wants to say more. But he only picks up his bag and goes.

Dalia menyobek tiket itu. Ia mendorongnya lewat lubang. Paolo memberinya koin. Jari-jarinya dingin. Ia menatap Dalia seolah ingin berkata lebih banyak. Tetapi ia hanya mengambil kantongnya dan pergi.

Dalia watches him walk to the door. His shoulders are low. She feels a small, hard stone in her stomach.

Dalia memperhatikannya berjalan ke pintu. Bahunya merosot. Ia merasakan batu kecil yang keras di perutnya.

She tells herself it is his fault. He makes a game out of her work. He laughs at her with those dice, she thinks. Maybe it is a joke with his friends. Maybe he thinks she is just a number on a die.

Ia berkata pada dirinya sendiri bahwa itu salah Paolo. Cowok itu menjadikan pekerjaannya sebuah permainan. Ia menertawakanku dengan dadu-dadu itu, pikirnya. Mungkin itu lelucon bersama teman-temannya. Mungkin ia mengira aku cuma sebuah angka di sebuah dadu.

But there is a problem with this idea. He never laughs. He never smiles. He always looks a little worried.

Tetapi ada masalah dengan dugaan ini. Paolo tidak pernah tertawa. Ia tidak pernah tersenyum. Ia selalu tampak sedikit cemas.

The film starts. The lobby becomes quiet. Dalia opens her book, but she cannot read. The words slide around the page. She keeps seeing his green scarf.

Film dimulai. Lobi menjadi sunyi. Dalia membuka bukunya, tetapi ia tidak bisa membaca. Kata-kata bergeser-geser di halaman. Ia terus melihat syal hijau itu.

At six o'clock, the film ends. People come out into the lobby. Some stop at her window to ask about the next show. Paolo comes out last. He walks slowly. He does not look at the booth.

Pukul enam, film selesai. Orang-orang keluar ke lobi. Beberapa berhenti di jendelanya untuk bertanya tentang pertunjukan berikutnya. Paolo keluar paling akhir. Ia berjalan pelan. Ia tidak menoleh ke loket.

Dalia gets up from her stool. She opens the little side door of the booth. She never does that. The air outside the glass feels bigger.

Dalia bangkit dari bangkunya. Ia membuka pintu samping kecil di loket. Ia tidak pernah melakukan itu. Udara di luar kaca terasa lebih luas.

"Paolo," she says.

"Paolo," katanya.

He turns around. His eyes are wide, as if he expects bad news.

Paolo berbalik. Matanya membelalak, seolah ia mengira akan mendengar kabar buruk.

"I'm sorry," Dalia says. "I was rude before. But I also want to ask you something. Why do you roll the dice every time? Is it a joke about me?"

"Maaf," kata Dalia. "Tadi aku kasar. Tapi aku juga ingin menanyakan sesuatu. Kenapa kamu selalu melempar dadu setiap kali? Apakah itu lelucon tentang aku?"

"A joke?" Paolo says. His mouth falls open. "No! I thought you hated it."

"Lelucon?" kata Paolo. Mulutnya ternganga. "Bukan! Kupikir kamu membencinya."

"I hate it," says Dalia. "I think you laugh at me."

"Aku memang membencinya," kata Dalia. "Kupikir kamu menertawakanku."

"Never," says Paolo. He shakes his head hard. "I thought you were angry with me because I take too long. I could not stop doing it. If I stop, it feels wrong."

"Tidak pernah," kata Paolo. Ia menggeleng keras. "Kupikir kamu marah padaku karena aku makan waktu. Aku tidak bisa berhenti melakukannya. Kalau aku berhenti, rasanya salah."

"But why?" asks Dalia. "What are the dice for?"

"Tapi kenapa?" tanya Dalia. "Dadu-dadu itu untuk apa?"

Paolo sits down on the bench by the wall. After a moment, Dalia sits beside him. He opens the cloth bag and pours the dice into his hand.

Paolo duduk di bangku dekat dinding. Beberapa saat kemudian, Dalia duduk di sampingnya. Paolo membuka kantong kain itu dan menuang dadu-dadunya ke tangannya.

There are fourteen of them, and none of them match. One is large and wooden. One is small and blue. One has ten sides, and one has only four. One has letters on it, not numbers. One is so old that the dots are almost gone.

Jumlahnya empat belas, dan tidak ada satu pun yang sama. Satu besar dan terbuat dari kayu. Satu kecil dan berwarna biru. Satu bersisi sepuluh, dan satu hanya bersisi empat. Satu bertuliskan huruf, bukan angka. Satu begitu tua sehingga titik-titiknya hampir hilang.

"I can't choose," says Paolo. "Not my seat, not anything. I stand in front of the board and I wait. I always want the best seat. I never find it. Last year I missed two whole films because I could not decide."

"Aku tidak bisa memilih," kata Paolo. "Bukan tempat dudukku, bukan apa pun. Aku berdiri di depan denah kursi dan menunggu. Aku selalu ingin tempat duduk yang terbaik. Aku tidak pernah menemukannya. Tahun lalu aku ketinggalan dua film penuh karena tidak bisa memutuskan."

"So you roll the dice," says Dalia.

"Jadi kamu melempar dadu," kata Dalia.

"Yes. The dice choose my seat. If I roll a four, I sit in row four. If I roll a letter, I sit at the row end. It's not a game. It's a way to stop thinking."

"Ya. Dadu yang memilih tempat dudukku. Kalau muncul empat, aku duduk di baris empat. Kalau muncul huruf, aku duduk di ujung baris. Ini bukan permainan. Ini cara supaya aku berhenti berpikir."

Dalia looks at the dice in his open hand. "Where did you find them?"

Dalia memandang dadu-dadu di tangan Paolo yang terbuka. "Di mana kamu menemukannya?"

"Everywhere," says Paolo. "Each one was lost by some game. The blue one is from a flea market. The wooden one is from under a cafe chair. I like them because each one is the only one. They are all a bit wrong, but they work."

"Di mana-mana," kata Paolo. "Masing-masing hilang dari sebuah permainan. Yang biru dari pasar barang bekas. Yang kayu dari bawah kursi kafe. Aku suka karena masing-masing hanya ada satu. Semuanya agak salah, tapi berfungsi."

Dalia smiles. It is the first time she smiles at him. "I'm sorry I said stop," she says.

Dalia tersenyum. Itu pertama kalinya ia tersenyum padanya. "Maaf tadi aku bilang jangan," katanya.

"I'm sorry I never told you," says Paolo. "I do not know how to start."

"Maaf aku tidak pernah memberitahumu," kata Paolo. "Aku tidak tahu bagaimana memulainya."

They sit for a while. The lobby lamps hum. A cleaner starts to clean the lobby.

Mereka duduk beberapa saat. Lampu-lampu lobi berdengung. Seorang petugas kebersihan mulai membersihkan lobi.

"Can I try one?" Dalia asks.

"Boleh aku coba satu?" tanya Dalia.

Paolo gives her the small blue die. She shakes it in her hands. She drops it on the bench. It rolls and stops on a three.

Paolo memberinya dadu biru kecil. Dalia mengocoknya di kedua tangan. Ia menjatuhkannya di bangku. Dadu itu bergulir dan berhenti di angka tiga.

"Row three," says Paolo. "Next Saturday."

"Baris tiga," kata Paolo. "Sabtu depan."

"Row three," says Dalia. "I will keep it for you. I will tell nobody."

"Baris tiga," kata Dalia. "Akan kusimpankan untukmu. Aku tidak akan memberitahu siapa pun."

Paolo laughs. It is a soft, surprised laugh. He puts the dice back in the bag one by one. Before he closes the bag, he stops. He keeps the blue die out and puts it in her hand.

Paolo tertawa. Tawanya lembut dan terkejut. Ia memasukkan dadu-dadu itu kembali ke kantong satu per satu. Sebelum menutup kantong, ia berhenti. Ia menyisihkan dadu biru itu dan meletakkannya di tangan Dalia.

"For the booth," he says. "In case someone else cannot choose."

"Untuk loket," katanya. "Kalau-kalau ada orang lain yang tidak bisa memilih."

Then he waves and walks out into the evening street. His green scarf disappears behind the glass door.

Lalu ia melambai dan berjalan keluar ke jalan di waktu petang. Syal hijaunya menghilang di balik pintu kaca.

Dalia goes back to her booth and closes the little side door. She sits on the stool and turns on the lamp. She puts the blue die on the metal tray, under the light.

Dalia kembali ke loketnya dan menutup pintu samping kecil itu. Ia duduk di bangku dan menyalakan lampu. Ia meletakkan dadu biru itu di baki logam, di bawah cahaya.

It stays there until closing time. It is the smallest thing in the whole room. Light from the street sign falls across it. The three dots look like three small stars.

Dadu itu tetap di sana sampai jam tutup. Itu benda terkecil di seluruh ruangan. Cahaya dari papan nama di jalan jatuh menimpanya. Tiga titiknya tampak seperti tiga bintang kecil.