The Question at the Deep End

The pool sat behind the sports hall near Eliot's home. People walked down a long hall. At the end, a glass door opened to the sun.

Kolam renang itu terletak di belakang aula olahraga dekat rumah Eliot. Orang-orang berjalan menyusuri lorong yang panjang. Di ujungnya, sebuah pintu kaca membuka ke arah matahari.

Eliot loved the pool. He went there almost every Saturday. The tiles were warm under his feet. A lifeguard sat on a high chair by the shallow end.

Eliot menyukai kolam itu. Ia pergi ke sana hampir setiap hari Sabtu. Ubinnya hangat di bawah kakinya. Seorang penjaga kolam duduk di kursi tinggi di dekat sisi yang dangkal.

This Saturday, a boy from his class had a birthday party there. Fifteen kids came. They shouted, laughed and jumped into the water one by one.

Hari Sabtu ini, seorang anak laki-laki di kelasnya mengadakan pesta ulang tahun di sana. Lima belas anak datang. Mereka berteriak, tertawa, dan melompat ke air satu per satu.

Eliot jumped in too. The water felt cold for a second. Then it felt perfect. He swam to the deep end and back. He felt like the king of the pool.

Eliot ikut melompat. Airnya terasa dingin sesaat. Lalu terasa sempurna. Ia berenang ke sisi yang dalam dan kembali. Ia merasa seperti raja kolam.

When he climbed out, he saw a girl by the door. She stood alone with her bag. Her name was Gwen. She was new in his class.

Ketika naik ke tepi, ia melihat seorang gadis di dekat pintu. Gadis itu berdiri sendirian dengan tasnya. Namanya Gwen. Ia murid baru di kelas Eliot.

Gwen moved to town in the autumn. She did not talk much. She sat at the back and drew small pictures in her book. Eliot never knew what to say to her.

Gwen pindah ke kota ini pada musim gugur. Ia tidak banyak bicara. Ia duduk di belakang dan menggambar gambar-gambar kecil di bukunya. Eliot tidak pernah tahu harus berkata apa kepadanya.

Today, Gwen wore a long gray jacket. It was zipped up to her chin. A blue strap showed at her neck. Eliot guessed it was a swimsuit.

Hari ini Gwen mengenakan jaket abu-abu panjang. Resletingnya ditutup sampai ke dagu. Seutas tali biru terlihat di lehernya. Eliot menduga itu baju renang.

"Gwen! Come in!" shouted the birthday boy.

"Gwen! Ayo masuk!" teriak anak yang berulang tahun.

"In a minute," Gwen said. She smiled and sat on a plastic chair. She put her hands in her pockets.

"Sebentar lagi," kata Gwen. Ia tersenyum dan duduk di kursi plastik. Ia memasukkan tangannya ke saku.

The minute became ten minutes. Ten minutes became an hour. The kids played a game with a big yellow ball. Gwen watched them from her chair.

Satu menit menjadi sepuluh menit. Sepuluh menit menjadi satu jam. Anak-anak memainkan permainan dengan bola kuning besar. Gwen menonton mereka dari kursinya.

Eliot noticed. He saw that the others noticed too. A girl said, "Come on, the water is great!" Another boy said, "Take off your jacket!"

Eliot memperhatikan. Ia melihat bahwa yang lain juga memperhatikan. Seorang gadis berkata, "Ayo, airnya enak!" Seorang anak laki-laki lain berkata, "Lepas saja jaketmu!"

Gwen only smiled. Each time, she said the same words. "In a minute."

Gwen hanya tersenyum. Setiap kali, ia mengucapkan kata-kata yang sama. "Sebentar lagi."

Nobody asked her the real question. Eliot knew what it was. It sat in his head like a small stone. Everybody seemed to know it, and nobody said it.

Tak ada yang menanyakan pertanyaan yang sebenarnya kepadanya. Eliot tahu apa itu. Pertanyaan itu mengendap di kepalanya seperti batu kecil. Semua orang tampaknya tahu, dan tak ada yang mengucapkannya.

Why not? Eliot thought about that for a long time. Maybe it was too simple. Maybe people were afraid of the answer.

Kenapa tidak? Eliot memikirkannya lama sekali. Mungkin pertanyaan itu terlalu sederhana. Mungkin orang takut pada jawabannya.

After a while, he climbed out again and dried his hands. He took a cup of juice from the long table. Then he walked over and sat on the next chair.

Setelah beberapa saat, ia naik lagi dan mengeringkan tangannya. Ia mengambil segelas jus dari meja panjang. Lalu ia berjalan menghampiri dan duduk di kursi sebelah Gwen.

"Hi," he said.

"Hai," katanya.

"Hi," said Gwen. She did not look at him.

"Hai," kata Gwen. Ia tidak menoleh.

"Do you want some juice?"

"Mau jus?"

"No, thanks."

"Tidak, terima kasih."

They sat there for a while. The yellow ball flew over their heads. Someone screamed with joy in the water.

Mereka duduk di sana beberapa saat. Bola kuning itu terbang di atas kepala mereka. Seseorang menjerit gembira di dalam air.

Then Eliot saw Gwen's hand. She held the zipper of her jacket and pulled. It did not move. She pulled again, harder. A small piece of cloth stuck in the teeth.

Lalu Eliot melihat tangan Gwen. Gwen memegang kepala resleting jaketnya dan menariknya. Resleting itu tidak bergerak. Ia menariknya lagi, lebih keras. Secuil kain tersangkut di giginya.

"Your zipper is stuck," Eliot said.

"Resletingmu macet," kata Eliot.

"I know." Gwen's voice was very small. "It was stuck when I put it on this morning."

"Aku tahu." Suara Gwen sangat kecil. "Sudah macet waktu aku memakainya tadi pagi."

"Do you want help?"

"Mau kubantu?"

She waited. Then she nodded. Eliot put down his cup. He took the little metal tab in two fingers. He pulled it up and down. The cloth did not come out.

Gwen menunggu. Lalu ia mengangguk. Eliot meletakkan gelasnya. Ia memegang kepala resleting logam kecil itu dengan dua jari. Ia menariknya naik turun. Kainnya tidak mau keluar.

"I think the zipper is broken," he said.

"Kurasa resletingnya rusak," katanya.

"I think so too."

"Aku juga berpikir begitu."

"There is soap in the changing room. Soap can help."

"Ada sabun di ruang ganti. Sabun bisa membantu."

He ran across the warm tiles. He came back with a small white bar. He rubbed it on the zipper. Then he pulled again. The tab moved a little, one finger down, and then it stopped.

Ia berlari melintasi ubin yang hangat. Ia kembali dengan sebatang sabun putih kecil. Ia menggosokkannya ke resleting. Lalu ia menariknya lagi. Kepala resleting itu bergerak sedikit, sejari ke bawah, lalu berhenti.

"It moved!" Gwen said.

"Bergerak!" kata Gwen.

"A little," said Eliot. "Not enough."

"Sedikit," kata Eliot. "Belum cukup."

He tried five more times. Each time, the zipper moved a tiny bit and then stopped. At last he stopped and put the soap on the chair.

Ia mencoba lima kali lagi. Setiap kali, resleting itu bergerak sedikit sekali lalu berhenti. Akhirnya ia berhenti dan meletakkan sabun di kursi.

Gwen looked at the zipper. Then she looked at the pool. Her eyes were bright and shiny.

Gwen memandang resleting itu. Lalu ia memandang kolam. Matanya cerah dan berkilau.

"Can I ask you something?" Eliot said.

"Boleh aku tanya sesuatu?" kata Eliot.

"Okay."

"Boleh."

"Can you swim?"

"Kamu bisa berenang?"

Gwen closed her eyes. For a moment, she did not breathe. Then the words came out fast, like water from a faucet.

Gwen memejamkan mata. Sesaat ia tidak bernapas. Lalu kata-kata itu keluar dengan cepat, seperti air dari keran.

"No. I cannot. Not at all."

"Tidak. Aku tidak bisa. Sama sekali tidak."

"Okay," said Eliot.

"Oke," kata Eliot.

"I wanted to tell everyone at the door. I could not say it." Gwen looked at her hands. "At my old school, everybody swam. I was the only one who did not. So I wore my jacket and said I was cold."

"Aku ingin memberi tahu semua orang di pintu tadi. Aku tidak sanggup mengatakannya." Gwen memandang tangannya. "Di sekolahku yang dulu, semua orang bisa berenang. Aku satu-satunya yang tidak. Jadi aku memakai jaket dan bilang aku kedinginan."

"Is that why you did not take it off?"

"Apa itu sebabnya kamu tidak melepasnya?"

"Yes. And now the zipper is stuck, and I feel silly." She laughed, but it was a sad little laugh. "A stuck zipper and a stuck girl."

"Ya. Dan sekarang resletingnya macet, dan aku merasa konyol." Ia tertawa, tetapi itu tawa kecil yang sedih. "Resleting yang macet dan gadis yang macet."

Eliot did not laugh. He thought for a moment.

Eliot tidak tertawa. Ia berpikir sejenak.

"I learned last year," he said. "I was thirteen. I was the oldest kid in my swimming class."

"Aku belajar tahun lalu," katanya. "Waktu itu aku tiga belas tahun. Aku anak paling tua di kelas renangku."

Gwen looked up. "Really?"

Gwen mendongak. "Sungguh?"

"Really. I stood in the shallow end for a whole month. I held the wall with both hands."

"Sungguh. Aku berdiri di sisi yang dangkal selama sebulan penuh. Aku memegang dinding dengan kedua tangan."

"Did anyone laugh at you?"

"Apa ada yang menertawakanmu?"

"My brother did, for a day. Then he stopped." Eliot smiled. "Nobody laughs at the shallow end. It is the quietest part of the pool."

"Kakakku, selama sehari. Lalu ia berhenti." Eliot tersenyum. "Tak ada yang menertawakan sisi yang dangkal. Itu bagian paling tenang di kolam."

Gwen looked over at the steps. They were at the far side of the pool. The loud kids were far away. Three wide steps went down into water as clear as glass.

Gwen memandang ke arah anak tangga. Letaknya di sisi seberang kolam. Anak-anak yang ribut itu jauh. Tiga anak tangga lebar turun ke air yang sejernih kaca.

"Nobody asked me," she said slowly. "All day, they only said, 'Come in.' Nobody asked if I could."

"Tak ada yang bertanya padaku," katanya pelan. "Seharian mereka hanya bilang, 'Ayo masuk.' Tak ada yang bertanya apakah aku bisa."

"I know. I think they were afraid of the answer. I was afraid too. I am sorry."

"Aku tahu. Kurasa mereka takut pada jawabannya. Aku juga takut. Maaf."

"Why?"

"Kenapa?"

"I do not know. Maybe they thought it was a rude question."

"Aku tidak tahu. Mungkin mereka mengira itu pertanyaan yang kasar."

"It was not rude," Gwen said. "It was kind. It was the first kind thing anyone said all day."

"Itu tidak kasar," kata Gwen. "Itu baik. Itu hal baik pertama yang dikatakan seseorang seharian ini."

Eliot felt his chest get warm. He did not know what to say, so he said nothing.

Dada Eliot terasa hangat. Ia tidak tahu harus berkata apa, jadi ia tidak berkata apa-apa.

Gwen stood up. She pushed her sleeves up to her wrists. The zipper stayed stuck just under her chin. The jacket stayed on.

Gwen berdiri. Ia menyingsingkan lengan bajunya sampai pergelangan. Resleting itu tetap macet tepat di bawah dagunya. Jaketnya tetap terpasang.

"I cannot take it off," she said.

"Aku tidak bisa melepasnya," katanya.

"You cannot swim in it," said Eliot. "But you can stand on the steps. The lifeguard is right there."

"Kamu tidak bisa berenang memakainya," kata Eliot. "Tapi kamu bisa berdiri di anak tangga. Penjaga kolam ada di dekat situ."

"In a wet jacket?"

"Dengan jaket basah?"

"Why not? It is only a jacket."

"Kenapa tidak? Itu cuma jaket."

Gwen laughed, and this time it was a real laugh. She picked up her bag and put it under the chair. Then she walked to the far side of the pool. Eliot walked next to her.

Gwen tertawa, dan kali ini tawa yang sungguh-sungguh. Ia mengambil tasnya dan menaruhnya di bawah kursi. Lalu ia berjalan ke sisi seberang kolam. Eliot berjalan di sampingnya.

The lifeguard waved to them. The water at the steps was only up to her knees.

Penjaga kolam melambai kepada mereka. Air di anak tangga hanya setinggi lututnya.

At the top of the steps, she stopped. The water moved a little. The light made bright lines on the bottom.

Di anak tangga paling atas, ia berhenti. Air bergerak sedikit. Cahaya membuat garis-garis terang di dasar kolam.

"Are you going to leave?" she asked.

"Kamu mau pergi?" tanyanya.

"No. I will sit right here."

"Tidak. Aku akan duduk di sini."

Eliot sat on the edge, with his feet in the water. Behind them, someone shouted Gwen's name. She did not turn around.

Eliot duduk di tepi kolam, dengan kaki di dalam air. Di belakang mereka, seseorang meneriakkan nama Gwen. Gwen tidak menoleh.

She looked at the zipper, still stuck under her chin. Then she looked at the water. She put one foot on the first step. The cold touched her toes.

Ia memandang resleting yang masih macet di bawah dagunya. Lalu ia memandang air. Ia menaruh satu kaki di anak tangga pertama. Dingin menyentuh jari-jari kakinya.