The Question at the Deep End

The pool sat behind the sports hall near Eliot's home. People walked down a long hall. At the end, a glass door opened to the sun.

Eliot loved the pool. He went there almost every Saturday. The tiles were warm under his feet. A lifeguard sat on a high chair by the shallow end.

This Saturday, a boy from his class had a birthday party there. Fifteen kids came. They shouted, laughed and jumped into the water one by one.

Eliot jumped in too. The water felt cold for a second. Then it felt perfect. He swam to the deep end and back. He felt like the king of the pool.

When he climbed out, he saw a girl by the door. She stood alone with her bag. Her name was Gwen. She was new in his class.

Gwen moved to town in the autumn. She did not talk much. She sat at the back and drew small pictures in her book. Eliot never knew what to say to her.

Today, Gwen wore a long gray jacket. It was zipped up to her chin. A blue strap showed at her neck. Eliot guessed it was a swimsuit.

"Gwen! Come in!" shouted the birthday boy.

"In a minute," Gwen said. She smiled and sat on a plastic chair. She put her hands in her pockets.

The minute became ten minutes. Ten minutes became an hour. The kids played a game with a big yellow ball. Gwen watched them from her chair.

Eliot noticed. He saw that the others noticed too. A girl said, "Come on, the water is great!" Another boy said, "Take off your jacket!"

Gwen only smiled. Each time, she said the same words. "In a minute."

Nobody asked her the real question. Eliot knew what it was. It sat in his head like a small stone. Everybody seemed to know it, and nobody said it.

Why not? Eliot thought about that for a long time. Maybe it was too simple. Maybe people were afraid of the answer.

After a while, he climbed out again and dried his hands. He took a cup of juice from the long table. Then he walked over and sat on the next chair.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," said Gwen. She did not look at him.

"Do you want some juice?"

"No, thanks."

They sat there for a while. The yellow ball flew over their heads. Someone screamed with joy in the water.

Then Eliot saw Gwen's hand. She held the zipper of her jacket and pulled. It did not move. She pulled again, harder. A small piece of cloth stuck in the teeth.

"Your zipper is stuck," Eliot said.

"I know." Gwen's voice was very small. "It was stuck when I put it on this morning."

"Do you want help?"

She waited. Then she nodded. Eliot put down his cup. He took the little metal tab in two fingers. He pulled it up and down. The cloth did not come out.

"I think the zipper is broken," he said.

"I think so too."

"There is soap in the changing room. Soap can help."

He ran across the warm tiles. He came back with a small white bar. He rubbed it on the zipper. Then he pulled again. The tab moved a little, one finger down, and then it stopped.

"It moved!" Gwen said.

"A little," said Eliot. "Not enough."

He tried five more times. Each time, the zipper moved a tiny bit and then stopped. At last he stopped and put the soap on the chair.

Gwen looked at the zipper. Then she looked at the pool. Her eyes were bright and shiny.

"Can I ask you something?" Eliot said.

"Okay."

"Can you swim?"

Gwen closed her eyes. For a moment, she did not breathe. Then the words came out fast, like water from a faucet.

"No. I cannot. Not at all."

"Okay," said Eliot.

"I wanted to tell everyone at the door. I could not say it." Gwen looked at her hands. "At my old school, everybody swam. I was the only one who did not. So I wore my jacket and said I was cold."

"Is that why you did not take it off?"

"Yes. And now the zipper is stuck, and I feel silly." She laughed, but it was a sad little laugh. "A stuck zipper and a stuck girl."

Eliot did not laugh. He thought for a moment.

"I learned last year," he said. "I was thirteen. I was the oldest kid in my swimming class."

Gwen looked up. "Really?"

"Really. I stood in the shallow end for a whole month. I held the wall with both hands."

"Did anyone laugh at you?"

"My brother did, for a day. Then he stopped." Eliot smiled. "Nobody laughs at the shallow end. It is the quietest part of the pool."

Gwen looked over at the steps. They were at the far side of the pool. The loud kids were far away. Three wide steps went down into water as clear as glass.

"Nobody asked me," she said slowly. "All day, they only said, 'Come in.' Nobody asked if I could."

"I know. I think they were afraid of the answer. I was afraid too. I am sorry."

"Why?"

"I do not know. Maybe they thought it was a rude question."

"It was not rude," Gwen said. "It was kind. It was the first kind thing anyone said all day."

Eliot felt his chest get warm. He did not know what to say, so he said nothing.

Gwen stood up. She pushed her sleeves up to her wrists. The zipper stayed stuck just under her chin. The jacket stayed on.

"I cannot take it off," she said.

"You cannot swim in it," said Eliot. "But you can stand on the steps. The lifeguard is right there."

"In a wet jacket?"

"Why not? It is only a jacket."

Gwen laughed, and this time it was a real laugh. She picked up her bag and put it under the chair. Then she walked to the far side of the pool. Eliot walked next to her.

The lifeguard waved to them. The water at the steps was only up to her knees.

At the top of the steps, she stopped. The water moved a little. The light made bright lines on the bottom.

"Are you going to leave?" she asked.

"No. I will sit right here."

Eliot sat on the edge, with his feet in the water. Behind them, someone shouted Gwen's name. She did not turn around.

She looked at the zipper, still stuck under her chin. Then she looked at the water. She put one foot on the first step. The cold touched her toes.