The Dim Torch on the Roof

The roof of the community centre is Ulrich's favourite place in the whole city. It has a flat gravel floor and a wall of old chimney pots. In the far corner stand two white wooden hives that hum all evening like a distant engine.

Atap pusat komunitas adalah tempat favorit Ulrich di seluruh kota. Lantainya datar dari kerikil, dan ada dinding dari pot-pot cerobong asap tua. Di sudut paling jauh berdiri dua sarang lebah dari kayu putih yang berdengung sepanjang malam seperti mesin di kejauhan.

Every Thursday at dusk he climbs the metal ladder with the same three things: a smoker, a hive tool and a torch. The torch is a dented metal tube from a market stall. Its beam is so weak that it lights a circle the size of a plate. People have offered him better ones for years. He has refused every single one.

Setiap Kamis menjelang malam ia menaiki tangga besi dengan tiga benda yang sama: alat pengasap, alat pembuka sarang, dan senter. Senter itu tabung logam penyok dari sebuah lapak pasar. Cahayanya begitu lemah sampai hanya menerangi lingkaran seukuran piring. Bertahun-tahun orang menawarinya senter yang lebih baik. Ia menolak setiap satunya.

Tonight he is not alone. Nami follows him up the ladder with a notebook under her arm. She joined the beekeeping club two weeks ago, and she is the first person his age who has stayed longer than a month. She asks good questions and writes down the answers, sometimes before he finishes giving them.

Malam ini ia tidak sendirian. Nami menyusulnya menaiki tangga dengan buku catatan terselip di bawah lengan. Ia bergabung dengan klub peternak lebah dua minggu lalu, dan ia orang pertama seusianya yang bertahan lebih dari sebulan. Ia mengajukan pertanyaan-pertanyaan bagus dan mencatat jawabannya, kadang sebelum Ulrich selesai menjawab.

Ulrich reaches the top first. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he steps away from the hatch to answer it.

Ulrich sampai di atas lebih dulu. Ponselnya bergetar di saku, dan ia menjauh dari pintu palka untuk menjawabnya.

"Yes, I am on the roof," he says quietly. "No, I will do the left hive on my own. She stays behind me. I mean it. Please do not ask me to explain it tonight."

"Ya, aku di atap," katanya pelan. "Tidak, sarang kiri biar aku yang urus sendiri. Dia tetap di belakangku. Aku serius. Tolong jangan minta aku menjelaskannya malam ini."

Below him on the ladder, Nami stops climbing.

Di bawahnya di tangga, Nami berhenti mendaki.

She stands there with one hand on the cold rung and the other around her notebook. She has heard exactly five sentences, and she has already built a story around them. Ulrich has hardly let her touch a frame in two weeks. He holds the lid himself, he lifts the boxes himself, and he gives her little jobs like counting the dead bees on the landing board. Now she knows why. He thinks she is clumsy, or worse, a nuisance, and he has been waiting for someone to tell him he is allowed to say so.

Ia berdiri di sana dengan satu tangan di anak tangga yang dingin dan tangan lainnya menggenggam buku catatannya. Ia hanya mendengar lima kalimat, dan ia sudah menyusun sebuah cerita di sekitarnya. Dua minggu ini Ulrich hampir tidak mengizinkannya menyentuh sebuah bingkai pun. Ulrich sendiri yang memegang tutupnya, sendiri yang mengangkat kotak-kotaknya, dan ia hanya memberinya tugas-tugas kecil seperti menghitung lebah mati di papan pendaratan. Sekarang ia tahu sebabnya. Ulrich menganggapnya ceroboh, atau lebih buruk lagi, merepotkan, dan sedang menunggu seseorang mengatakan bahwa ia boleh berterus terang.

She climbs the last rungs and steps onto the gravel with a very straight back.

Ia memanjat anak tangga terakhir dan melangkah ke atas kerikil dengan punggung sangat tegak.

"Everything all right?" Ulrich asks.

"Semuanya baik-baik saja?" tanya Ulrich.

"Perfectly," Nami says.

"Sempurna," kata Nami.

It is the wrong kind of word, and he knows it, but he does not understand it. He fetches the smoker. She walks beside him towards the hives with her notebook closed, and for the first time since she arrived she asks no questions at all.

Itu jenis kata yang salah, dan Ulrich tahu itu, tetapi ia tidak mengerti maksudnya. Ia mengambil alat pengasap. Nami berjalan di sampingnya menuju sarang-sarang itu dengan buku catatan tertutup, dan untuk pertama kalinya sejak datang ia sama sekali tidak bertanya.

The silence is almost louder than the bees.

Kesunyian itu hampir lebih nyaring daripada suara lebah.

At the right hive, Ulrich lights the smoker and puffs a thin grey cloud over the entrance. He lifts the lid slowly and points the dim torch into the box. The bees shift in the soft yellow circle, calm as sleepers turning over in bed.

Di sarang yang kanan, Ulrich menyalakan alat pengasap dan mengembuskan awan abu-abu tipis ke pintu masuknya. Ia mengangkat tutupnya perlahan dan mengarahkan senter yang redup itu ke dalam kotak. Para lebah bergeser dalam lingkaran kuning yang lembut, setenang orang tidur yang berbalik di ranjang.

"You can see them better in a weak light," he says. "A strong beam feels like a thunderstorm to them. Then they get angry."

"Kamu bisa melihat mereka lebih jelas dalam cahaya lemah," katanya. "Sorot yang kuat terasa seperti badai petir bagi mereka. Lalu mereka jadi marah."

Nami does not write it down.

Nami tidak mencatatnya.

"Do you want to hold the frame?" he asks, because he suddenly wants to hear her say yes.

"Mau memegang bingkainya?" tanyanya, karena tiba-tiba ia ingin mendengar Nami berkata ya.

"No," she says. "You should do it. You never trust anyone else with it anyway."

"Tidak," kata Nami. "Kamu saja. Toh kamu tidak pernah memercayakannya pada orang lain."

Ulrich looks up from the hive. "What does that mean?"

Ulrich mendongak dari sarang. "Maksudnya apa?"

"Nothing." She takes out her phone to check the time, and the screen lights up bright white, directly above the open box.

"Bukan apa-apa." Ia mengeluarkan ponsel untuk melihat jam, dan layarnya menyala putih terang tepat di atas kotak yang terbuka.

The hum changes at once. It rises by a whole note, sharp and tight, and a dozen bees lift off the frame. Ulrich does not shout. He puts his hand over her phone, covers the screen completely, and steps between her and the hive in one movement. The lid goes back down. The bees circle once, twice, and then drift back to their entrance, still complaining.

Dengungnya langsung berubah. Naik satu nada penuh, tajam dan tegang, dan selusin lebah terbang dari bingkai. Ulrich tidak berteriak. Ia menutupi ponsel Nami dengan tangannya, menutup layarnya sepenuhnya, dan melangkah di antara Nami dan sarang dalam satu gerakan. Tutupnya dipasang kembali. Para lebah berputar sekali, dua kali, lalu melayang kembali ke pintu masuk mereka, masih menggerutu.

For a long moment neither of them moves.

Sesaat lamanya tak seorang pun dari mereka bergerak.

"I am sorry," Nami says. Her voice shakes a little. "I know you did not want me here. I heard you on the phone. You said I had to stay behind you."

"Maaf," kata Nami. Suaranya agak bergetar. "Aku tahu kamu tidak menginginkanku di sini. Aku mendengarmu di telepon. Kamu bilang aku harus tetap di belakangmu."

Ulrich stares at her. Then something very clear and slightly ridiculous crosses his face.

Ulrich menatapnya. Lalu sesuatu yang sangat jelas dan agak konyol melintas di wajahnya.

"That was the chairwoman," he says. "She wanted me to give the left hive to the club's senior beekeeper tonight. I said no, I would do it myself, and that you would stay behind me."

"Itu ketua klub," katanya. "Dia ingin aku menyerahkan sarang kiri malam ini kepada peternak senior klub. Aku bilang tidak, aku akan mengurusnya sendiri, dan kamu akan tetap di belakangku."

"Because I am clumsy."

"Karena aku ceroboh."

"Because that hive is vicious! Last month it stung three people through their gloves. I would rather take the stings than watch you take them." He rubs the back of his neck. "I have not let you touch the frames because every beginner does something stupid with a frame in their first month. I did it too. I wanted you to learn on the calm hive first. That is all."

"Karena sarang itu galak! Bulan lalu ia menyengat tiga orang menembus sarung tangan mereka. Aku lebih rela disengat daripada melihatmu disengat." Ia mengusap tengkuknya. "Aku belum mengizinkanmu menyentuh bingkai karena setiap pemula pasti melakukan hal bodoh dengan bingkai di bulan pertamanya. Aku juga begitu dulu. Aku ingin kamu belajar dulu di sarang yang tenang. Hanya itu."

Nami looks at the closed lid and at the angry bees still circling. She looks at the dim torch in his other hand.

Nami menatap tutup yang tertutup itu dan lebah-lebah marah yang masih berputar. Ia menatap senter redup di tangan Ulrich yang satunya.

"And the torch?" she asks. "Why does everyone say you are stubborn about it?"

"Dan senternya?" tanyanya. "Kenapa semua orang bilang kamu keras kepala soal itu?"

He laughs, a little embarrassed. "People think it is broken. It is not. I wrapped three layers of tape over the lens last spring, because the original beam was too strong. It is the only torch that never makes them angry."

Ulrich tertawa, agak malu. "Orang-orang mengira senternya rusak. Tidak. Aku melilitkan tiga lapis selotip di atas lensanya musim semi lalu, karena sorot aslinya terlalu kuat. Ini satu-satunya senter yang tidak pernah membuat mereka marah."

"You made it weak on purpose."

"Kamu sengaja membuatnya lemah."

"On purpose," Ulrich says. "It is the best torch on the roof."

"Sengaja," kata Ulrich. "Ini senter terbaik di atap."

She laughs too, and the sound is so sudden that a few bees lift off the gravel as if they have heard a joke. Nami covers her mouth. Ulrich covers his. They stand there like two people caught in the wrong church, shaking with quiet laughter, until the hum settles again.

Nami ikut tertawa, dan suaranya begitu mendadak sampai beberapa lebah terbang dari kerikil seakan-akan mereka mendengar lelucon. Nami menutup mulutnya. Ulrich menutup mulutnya. Mereka berdiri di sana seperti dua orang yang tepergok di gereja yang salah, terguncang oleh tawa tanpa suara, sampai dengungnya kembali tenang.

"I thought you did not trust me," she says at last.

"Kupikir kamu tidak memercayaiku," katanya akhirnya.

"I thought you were bored with me. You stopped talking."

"Kupikir kamu bosan denganku. Kamu berhenti bicara."

"I was being dramatic."

"Aku cuma sedang dramatis."

"A little."

"Sedikit."

"A lot," Nami admits.

"Banyak," Nami mengakui.

The sun goes down behind the chimney pots, and the sky above the roof turns the colour of warm honey. Down on the street, someone switches on a row of lamps, but up here the gravel is dim and warm.

Matahari tenggelam di balik pot-pot cerobong, dan langit di atas atap berubah warna menjadi seperti madu hangat. Di jalan di bawah, seseorang menyalakan sederet lampu, tetapi di atas sini kerikilnya redup dan hangat.

Ulrich holds out the dented torch with the handle towards her. "Take it. The person who holds the torch decides when we stop. That is my oldest rule. I have never given the torch to anyone."

Ulrich mengulurkan senter penyok itu dengan gagangnya menghadap Nami. "Ambillah. Orang yang memegang senter yang menentukan kapan kita berhenti. Itu aturan tertuaku. Aku belum pernah memberikan senter ini kepada siapa pun."

"Not even the chairwoman?"

"Bahkan pada ketua klub?"

"She would use it like a hammer."

"Dia akan memakainya seperti palu."

Nami takes the torch and turns it over in her hands. She tests the weight of it, as if it were a rare tool. Then she crouches by the right hive and points the weak yellow circle at the wooden lid. She holds it low, exactly as she has seen him do.

Nami mengambil senter itu dan membolak-baliknya di tangannya. Ia menimbang bobotnya, seakan-akan itu alat yang langka. Lalu ia berjongkok di dekat sarang kanan dan mengarahkan lingkaran kuning lemah itu ke tutup kayunya. Ia memegangnya rendah, persis seperti yang pernah dilihatnya dilakukan Ulrich.

"Ready?" she asks.

"Siap?" tanyanya.

Ulrich nods, and she lifts the lid.

Ulrich mengangguk, dan ia mengangkat tutupnya.