The Office Prank That Went Too Far

Theo had been planning his April Fools' prank on Reem for exactly three weeks. She had replaced his stapler with a slightly heavier one weeks earlier and never confessed to it. His plan was simple: swap the sugar in the break room with salt, just for the first cup of coffee she made that morning.

西奥为了愚人节捉弄里姆，足足筹划了三个星期。几个星期前，她把他的订书机换成了一个稍微重一点的，却从来没有承认。他的计划很简单：把茶水间的糖换成盐，只管她那天早上冲的第一杯咖啡。

What Theo hadn't accounted for was that their new office manager, Victor, always arrived early and always made the first pot of coffee. By the time Reem walked in, half the office had already been served, and complaints were spreading faster than Theo could explain himself.

西奥没有料到的是，他们的新办公室主任维克托总是来得很早，而且总是第一个煮咖啡。等里姆走进办公室的时候，已经有半个办公室的人喝过了，抱怨声传开的速度比西奥解释的速度还快。

"Someone," Victor announced at the ten o'clock meeting, holding up a mug like evidence, "has replaced the sugar with salt." He said he wanted to know who thought that was funny.

“有人，”维克托在十点的会议上宣布，像举证据一样举起一个马克杯，“把糖换成了盐。”他说他想知道是谁觉得这很好笑。

Theo considered confessing immediately. Instead, watching Reem's face carefully to see if she suspected him, he said nothing. That turned out to be a mistake, because his silence read as guilt to at least three coworkers.

西奥考虑过马上坦白。可他却一边留神观察里姆的脸色，看她是否怀疑到自己，一边什么也没说。事实证明这是个错误，因为他的沉默在至少三个同事看来就是心虚。

By lunchtime, a rumor had spread that Theo was retaliating against the whole office for something unrelated to Reem entirely. Someone suggested it was about a parking spot. Someone else was certain it involved the printer.

到了午饭时间，传言已经传开，说西奥是在对整个办公室的人进行报复，而且跟里姆完全无关。有人说是因为停车位。还有人坚信与打印机有关。

Reem cornered him near the copier. "Was this about the stapler?"

里姆在复印机旁把他堵住了。“这是因为订书机的事吗？”

"Maybe," Theo admitted. "It was supposed to be a joke, just for you. I didn't think Victor would drink the first cup."

“也许吧，”西奥承认道，“本来只是个玩笑，只针对你一个人。我没想到维克托会喝第一杯。”

"You should have tested it on someone who wasn't in charge of our performance reviews," Reem said, though she was clearly fighting a smile.

“你应该找个不管我们绩效考核的人来试验，”里姆说，不过她显然在强忍着笑。

"In hindsight, yes."

“事后看来，是的。”

They agreed, quietly, to tell Victor the truth before the rumors grew any larger, though neither of them was eager to volunteer first. In the end, they walked into his office together. Reem did most of the talking, explaining the stapler, the salt, and the accidental scale of the whole disaster.

他们悄悄商定，在传言越闹越大之前，把真相告诉维克托，不过两人谁也不愿意先开口。最后，他们一起走进了他的办公室。里姆说得最多，解释了订书机、盐，以及这场灾难意外扩大的经过。

Victor listened, unreadable, for a long moment. "I'm not angry," he finally said. "I'm just disappointed that a simple prank turned into a security incident by ten fifteen."

维克托听着，神情让人看不出喜怒，过了好一会儿。“我不生气，”他终于说，“我只是失望，一个简单的恶作剧，十点一刻就变成了一起安全事故。”

Theo and Reem exchanged a look of mutual, silent apology. Neither of them touched the sugar again for the rest of the year.

西奥和里姆交换了一个眼神，里面满是无声的、彼此的歉意。那一年剩下的日子里，他们俩谁也没再碰过糖。