The Letter Before University

The night before she left for university, Itzel could not sleep. Her bags stood by the door, and her train ticket was on the kitchen table. Downstairs, her father was repairing a lamp that did not need fixing.

Na noite anterior à partida para a universidade, Itzel não conseguia dormir. As malas estavam junto à porta, e a passagem de trem, em cima da mesa da cozinha. Lá embaixo, o pai consertava uma luminária que não precisava de conserto.

He had been quiet all week. He had driven her to buy a winter coat and carried her heavy boxes. He had even checked the tires on the car twice. But he had not said a word about her leaving. Itzel had not known how to start the conversation either.

Ele tinha ficado calado a semana toda. Tinha levado a filha para comprar um casaco de inverno e carregado as caixas pesadas dela. Até conferira os pneus do carro duas vezes. Mas não dissera uma palavra sobre a partida. Itzel também não sabia como começar essa conversa.

She went down in her socks and stood in the doorway. "Dad," she began. He looked up, his glasses low on his nose, and waited. "Dad, I…" Nothing else came. "Never mind. Good night."

Ela desceu de meias e ficou parada na porta. "Pai", começou. Ele ergueu os olhos, com os óculos baixos no nariz, e esperou. "Pai, eu…" Mais nada saiu. "Deixa pra lá. Boa noite."

"Good night," he said, and went back to his screwdriver.

"Boa noite", disse ele, e voltou à chave de fenda.

Back in her room, Itzel felt ashamed. She had been brave enough to apply to a school five hours away. She was not brave enough to say thank you. So she took a sheet of paper from her notebook and began to write. She told him that she remembered the Sundays he taught her to ride a bike. She knew he had worked extra shifts for her tuition. She was afraid, but also excited, and she would call every week.

De volta ao quarto, Itzel sentiu vergonha. Tinha tido coragem para se inscrever numa faculdade a cinco horas de distância. Não tinha coragem de dizer obrigada. Então pegou uma folha do caderno e começou a escrever. Contou que lembrava dos domingos em que ele a ensinou a andar de bicicleta. Sabia que ele tinha feito turnos extras para pagar a mensalidade dela. Estava com medo, mas também animada, e ligaria toda semana.

She folded the letter into a small square. At dawn, while her father showered, she slipped it under the lid of his old green toolbox. That was where he kept the things he never lost.

Dobrou a carta num quadradinho. De madrugada, enquanto o pai tomava banho, ela a enfiou sob a tampa da velha caixa de ferramentas verde dele. Era onde ele guardava as coisas que nunca perdia.

At the station, he hugged her stiffly, as he always did, and handed her a bag of oranges. "Eat these on the train," he said. That was all.

Na estação, ele a abraçou com rigidez, como sempre fazia, e lhe entregou uma sacola de laranjas. "Coma isto no trem", disse. Foi só.

For three weeks, Itzel heard nothing. She called twice, and he answered in short sentences about the weather and the car. She decided that he had never opened the toolbox. Or perhaps he had read the letter and wished she had not written it.

Durante três semanas, Itzel não teve notícias. Ligou duas vezes, e ele respondeu com frases curtas sobre o tempo e o carro. Ela concluiu que ele nunca tinha aberto a caixa de ferramentas. Ou talvez tivesse lido a carta e desejasse que ela não a tivesse escrito.

Then, on a Tuesday evening, her phone rang. The screen said Dad. In eighteen years, he had never called her first.

Então, numa terça à noite, o telefone dela tocou. Na tela, estava escrito Pai. Em dezoito anos, ele nunca tinha ligado primeiro.

"Hello?" she said carefully.

"Alô?", disse ela com cuidado.

There was a long pause, and she could hear him breathing. "I found it," he said.

Houve uma longa pausa, e ela podia ouvi-lo respirar. "Eu encontrei", disse ele.