Nobody Behind the Curtain

Every Saturday at four, Safiya pulls a rope. A green curtain slides across a small wooden stage. Then an act steps out, and she pulls the rope again. The curtain opens. That is her whole job. She loves it.

Setiap Sabtu pukul empat, Safiya menarik sebuah tali. Tirai hijau bergeser menutupi panggung kayu yang kecil. Lalu sebuah penampil melangkah keluar, dan ia menarik tali itu lagi. Tirai terbuka. Hanya itulah pekerjaannya. Ia menyukainya.

The stage stands on the roof of the shopping centre. Up here, it is quiet. There are long boxes of mint and tomato plants. There are benches, string lights and a path of small stones. Far below, behind a glass roof, people ride the escalators with bags.

Panggung itu berdiri di atap pusat perbelanjaan. Di atas sini suasananya tenang. Ada bedeng-bedeng panjang berisi mint dan tanaman tomat. Ada bangku-bangku, lampu-lampu untaian, dan jalan setapak dari batu-batu kecil. Jauh di bawah, di balik atap kaca, orang-orang menaiki eskalator sambil membawa tas belanja.

Safiya is fifteen. She volunteers in the roof garden every weekend. She likes the curtain because it hides her. Behind it, she sees everything, and nobody sees her. She writes songs in a notebook, but nobody hears them. The notebook lives at the bottom of her bag.

Safiya berumur lima belas tahun. Ia menjadi relawan di kebun atap itu setiap akhir pekan. Ia menyukai tirai itu karena tirai itu menyembunyikannya. Di baliknya, ia bisa melihat segalanya, dan tak seorang pun melihatnya. Ia menulis lagu di sebuah buku catatan, tetapi tak seorang pun mendengarnya. Buku itu tersimpan di dasar tasnya.

Today, only one act is on the list. His name is Edin. He climbs the last steps at three forty. He carries a guitar case that looks too big for him.

Hari ini hanya ada satu penampil dalam daftar. Namanya Edin. Ia menaiki anak tangga terakhir pada pukul tiga empat puluh. Ia membawa kotak gitar yang tampak terlalu besar untuknya.

"Is this where I play?" he asks. His voice is thin.

"Apakah di sini aku bermain?" tanyanya. Suaranya tipis.

"This is the place," Safiya says. "You are on at four."

"Di sinilah tempatnya," kata Safiya. "Kamu tampil pukul empat."

Edin sits on a bench. He opens the case and closes it again. He opens it again. His fingers are white at the tips.

Edin duduk di sebuah bangku. Ia membuka kotak itu dan menutupnya lagi. Ia membukanya lagi. Ujung-ujung jarinya memutih.

"I never play for real people," he says. "Only for my dog."

"Aku belum pernah main untuk orang sungguhan," katanya. "Hanya untuk anjingku."

"What does your dog think?" Safiya asks.

"Menurut anjingmu bagaimana?" tanya Safiya.

"He sleeps," Edin says. "But he is very polite about it."

"Dia tidur," kata Edin. "Tapi dia sangat sopan soal itu."

Safiya smiles. "Then you are ready," she says.

Safiya tersenyum. "Berarti kamu sudah siap," katanya.

"No," Edin says. "Please close the curtain. Keep it closed until I am ready. Then open it. That is how it works, right?"

"Belum," kata Edin. "Tolong tutup tirainya. Biarkan tertutup sampai aku siap. Lalu buka. Begitu caranya, kan?"

"That is how it works," Safiya says.

"Begitu caranya," kata Safiya.

At three fifty, twelve people sit on the benches. A man with a coffee. Two girls with ice cream. A family with a small baby. The garden manager checks the lights. Safiya goes to the rope.

Pukul tiga lima puluh, dua belas orang duduk di bangku-bangku. Seorang pria dengan kopi. Dua gadis dengan es krim. Sebuah keluarga dengan bayi kecil. Pengelola kebun memeriksa lampu. Safiya menuju tali.

She pulls it.

Ia menariknya.

The curtain slides, stops, and sticks in the middle.

Tirai bergeser, berhenti, dan macet di tengah.

She pulls again. Nothing. She pulls harder. The rope burns her hand. The curtain does not move. The green cloth hangs in a fold. A large gap shows on the left.

Ia menarik lagi. Tidak bergerak. Ia menarik lebih keras. Tali itu membakar telapak tangannya. Tirai tidak bergerak. Kain hijau itu menggantung berlipat. Sebuah celah lebar terlihat di sebelah kiri.

"It is stuck," she says to nobody.

"Macet," katanya kepada siapa pun yang tidak ada.

She gets the ladder. She climbs up and looks at the rail. One small wheel is out of its track. The metal rail is bent. She pushes it back. The curtain jumps forward a little. Then it stops at the same place. She tries three times. Each time the wheel jumps out.

Ia mengambil tangga. Ia memanjat dan memeriksa relnya. Satu roda kecil keluar dari jalurnya. Rel logam itu bengkok. Ia mendorongnya kembali. Tirai melompat maju sedikit. Lalu berhenti di tempat yang sama. Ia mencoba tiga kali. Setiap kali, roda itu melompat keluar.

"Safiya?" the manager calls. "It is almost four."

"Safiya?" panggil pengelola. "Hampir pukul empat."

"One minute!" she says.

"Satu menit!" katanya.

She has no new rail and no time. Edin stands on the stage and stares at the gap. To him it looks like a hole in a boat.

Ia tidak punya rel baru dan tidak punya waktu. Edin berdiri di panggung dan menatap celah itu. Baginya celah itu tampak seperti lubang di sebuah perahu.

He comes over to the ladder. His face is the colour of paper.

Ia menghampiri tangga. Wajahnya seputih kertas.

"Can't you fix it?" he asks.

"Tidak bisakah kamu memperbaikinya?" tanyanya.

"Not today," Safiya says. "The rail is bent. I need a new one."

"Tidak hari ini," kata Safiya. "Relnya bengkok. Aku butuh yang baru."

"Then I cannot play," Edin says. "I am sorry. I wanted the curtain to hide me. I wanted to start, and nobody sees my hands shake."

"Kalau begitu aku tidak bisa main," kata Edin. "Maaf. Aku ingin tirai itu menyembunyikanku. Aku ingin mulai tanpa ada yang melihat tanganku gemetar."

He picks up his guitar case. He turns toward the stairs.

Ia mengambil kotak gitarnya. Ia berbalik ke arah tangga.

Safiya climbs down. She stands in front of him. She does not know why. It is not her job to stop people. Her job is to pull a rope.

Safiya turun. Ia berdiri di depannya. Ia tidak tahu kenapa. Menghentikan orang bukan tugasnya. Tugasnya menarik tali.

"Wait," she says.

"Tunggu," katanya.

"Why?" Edin asks.

"Kenapa?" tanya Edin.

Safiya looks at the benches. The twelve people wait. The baby makes a happy noise. The man with the coffee looks at his phone. Nobody is angry. Nobody even looks unkind. They only wait.

Safiya memandang bangku-bangku. Dua belas orang itu menunggu. Si bayi mengeluarkan suara riang. Pria dengan kopi itu melihat ponselnya. Tak ada yang marah. Bahkan tak ada yang tampak tidak ramah. Mereka hanya menunggu.

"The first time is the hardest," she says. "After the first minute, nobody sees your hands. They hear the music."

"Yang pertama kali itu yang paling sulit," katanya. "Setelah menit pertama, tak ada yang melihat tanganmu. Mereka mendengar musiknya."

"How do you know?" Edin says.

"Dari mana kamu tahu?" tanya Edin.

"I do not," Safiya says. "Not really. I only watch other people do it."

"Aku tidak tahu," kata Safiya. "Tidak sungguh-sungguh. Aku hanya melihat orang lain melakukannya."

Edin laughs, a short, surprised laugh. It is the first time he laughs. "That is not very helpful," he says.

Edin tertawa, tawa pendek yang terkejut. Itu pertama kalinya ia tertawa. "Itu tidak terlalu membantu," katanya.

"No," Safiya says. "It is not."

"Tidak," kata Safiya. "Memang tidak."

For a moment, neither of them says anything. The string lights glow. The sky above them turns grey. The tomato plants smell warm and green. Below the glass, people still ride the escalators. Some of them look up.

Sejenak, tak satu pun dari mereka berkata apa-apa. Lampu-lampu untaian menyala. Langit di atas mereka berubah kelabu. Tanaman tomat berbau hangat dan hijau. Di bawah kaca, orang-orang masih menaiki eskalator. Beberapa dari mereka menengadah.

Edin puts the case down on the stage. He takes out his guitar. His hands still shake. But he holds it as if he trusts it.

Edin meletakkan kotak itu di panggung. Ia mengeluarkan gitarnya. Tangannya masih gemetar. Tetapi ia memegangnya seolah ia memercayainya.

"Will you stand next to me?" he asks.

"Maukah kamu berdiri di sampingku?" tanyanya.

"Next to you?" Safiya says. "On the stage?"

"Di sampingmu?" kata Safiya. "Di atas panggung?"

"At the side," Edin says. "Next to the rope. Where I can see you. Only until the first song ends."

"Di pinggir," kata Edin. "Di dekat tali. Di tempat aku bisa melihatmu. Hanya sampai lagu pertama selesai."

Safiya looks at the rope in her hand. She looks at the gap in the curtain. Then she looks at the people on the benches. Every Saturday, a curtain hides her from them. Now nothing does.

Safiya memandang tali di tangannya. Ia memandang celah di tirai. Lalu ia memandang orang-orang di bangku. Setiap Sabtu, sebuah tirai menyembunyikannya dari mereka. Sekarang tak ada apa pun.

"Okay," she says. "Only until the first song ends."

"Baiklah," katanya. "Hanya sampai lagu pertama selesai."

She walks to the side of the stage. The boards feel strange under her feet. She can hear her heart. She can hear the baby. She holds the rope with both hands. It feels like a rope on a ship.

Ia berjalan ke pinggir panggung. Papan-papannya terasa asing di bawah kakinya. Ia bisa mendengar jantungnya. Ia bisa mendengar si bayi. Ia memegang tali itu dengan kedua tangan. Rasanya seperti tali di sebuah kapal.

Edin plays a first note. It is wrong. He stops, breathes in, and plays it again.

Edin memainkan nada pertama. Nada itu salah. Ia berhenti, menarik napas, dan memainkannya lagi.

This time, it is right.

Kali ini, nadanya benar.

It spreads over the garden, soft and a little uneven. The man with the coffee puts his phone away. The two girls stop talking. Edin closes his eyes, and Safiya watches his hands slowly stop shaking.

Nada itu menyebar di atas kebun, lembut dan sedikit tidak rata. Pria dengan kopi itu menyimpan ponselnya. Dua gadis itu berhenti berbicara. Edin memejamkan mata, dan Safiya melihat tangannya perlahan berhenti gemetar.

He plays the whole song. When it ends, the people clap. The baby claps too, without knowing why.

Ia memainkan seluruh lagu. Ketika lagu berakhir, orang-orang bertepuk tangan. Si bayi ikut bertepuk tangan, tanpa tahu mengapa.

Edin opens his eyes. He looks at Safiya and smiles. It is a big, happy smile, with no fear in it.

Edin membuka matanya. Ia memandang Safiya dan tersenyum. Senyum yang lebar dan bahagia, tanpa rasa takut.

"Next one?" the manager calls from the back. "Anyone else want to play?"

"Berikutnya?" panggil pengelola dari belakang. "Ada lagi yang mau tampil?"

Nobody answers. The garden is quiet. Safiya looks down at her bag by the ladder. Her hand is on it.

Tak ada yang menjawab. Kebun itu hening. Safiya memandang tasnya di dekat tangga. Tangannya berada di atasnya.

The bag is half open.

Tas itu setengah terbuka.