The Anniversary Question

Cora and Emil have been together for two years, and Cora has started to notice a pattern. Every time she brings up the future, even casually, Emil changes the subject.

科拉和埃米尔在一起已经两年了，科拉开始注意到一个规律。每次她聊起未来，哪怕只是随口一提，埃米尔都会岔开话题。

Tonight, over dinner, she decides not to let it happen again. "Can I ask you something," she says, "and can you actually answer it this time?"

今晚吃饭的时候，她决定不再让这种事发生。“我能问你一件事吗？”她说，“这一次你能真的回答我吗？”

Emil sets down his fork. "That sounds serious."

埃米尔放下叉子。“听起来很严肃。”

"It's not meant to be scary," Cora says. "I just want to know where you see this going. Us, I mean. Not tomorrow. In a year, maybe two."

“我不是想吓你，”科拉说，“我只是想知道，你觉得我们会走向哪里。我是说我们俩。不是明天，是一年后，也许两年后。”

Emil is quiet for a moment. "Honestly? I've been avoiding that question because I don't have a clean answer for it."

埃米尔沉默了一会儿。“说实话？我一直在躲这个问题，因为我给不出一个清楚的答案。”

"That's not the same as not caring," Cora says carefully. "But I've been assuming things I probably shouldn't have."

“这和不在乎不是一回事，”科拉小心地说，“可是我一直在猜，有些事我大概不该那样猜。”

"Like what?"

“比如什么？”

"Like maybe you're not sure about us at all. Like maybe I'm more invested in this than you are."

“比如，也许你根本不确定我们能不能走下去。比如，也许是我比你投入得多。”

Emil shakes his head quickly. "That's not it. If I'm honest, I think about our future all the time. I just haven't figured out how to say any of it out loud. I don't want to sound like I'm making promises I can't keep."

埃米尔连忙摇头。“不是这样的。说真的，我一直都在想我们的未来。只是我还没想好怎么把这些说出口。我不想听起来像是在许下我做不到的承诺。”

"You don't have to have it all figured out," Cora says. "I'm not asking for a plan. I just need to know I'm not the only one thinking about this."

“你不用把一切都想清楚，”科拉说，“我不是要一个计划。我只是想知道，我不是唯一在想这件事的人。”

Emil reaches across the table and takes her hand. "You're not. I've wanted to bring this up for weeks. I kept putting it off because I was worried I'd say the wrong thing."

埃米尔伸过手去，握住她的手。“你不是。我好几个星期前就想提这件事了。我一直拖着，是因为怕自己说错话。”

"You could have just said that," Cora says, half laughing, half relieved.

“你直接这么说就好了啊，”科拉说，又想笑，又松了一口气。

"I know. I should have." He pauses. "For what it's worth, when I picture five years from now, you're in it. I just hadn't said that part out loud before."

“我知道。我早该说的。”他停了一下。“不管怎么样，我想象五年后的时候，你就在里面。只是我以前没有把这句话说出口。”

Cora feels something in her chest loosen, a tension she hadn't fully noticed until it was gone. She doesn't need a ring or a date. She just needed to know they were imagining the same thing.

科拉觉得胸口有什么松开了，那是一种紧绷，直到消失了她才完全察觉到。她不需要戒指，也不需要日期。她只是需要知道，他们想象的是同一件事。

They finish dinner slower than usual, talking more openly than they have in months.

他们吃完这顿饭比平时慢，聊得也比这几个月来都更坦诚。