A girl once went to the fair to hire herself for servant. At last a funny-looking old gentleman engaged her, and took her home to his house. When she got there, he told her that he had something to teach her, for that in his house he had his own names for things.
从前有个姑娘去赶集，想找个地方当佣人。终于，一位模样古怪的老绅士雇了她，把她带回了自己家里。到了那儿，他告诉她，他有些东西要教给她，因为在他家里，他给各种东西都起了自己的名字。
He said to her: “What will you call me?”
他对她说：“你要怎么称呼我？”
“Master or mister, or whatever you please sir,” says she.
“主人也好，先生也好，您喜欢怎么称呼都行，先生。”她说。
He said: “You must call me 'master of all masters.' And what would you call this?” pointing to his bed.
他说：“你必须叫我‘万主之主’。那你说，这个你要叫它什么？”他指着自己的床说道。
“Bed or couch, or whatever you please, sir.”
“床也好，榻也好，您喜欢怎么叫都行，先生。”
“No, that's my 'barnacle.' And what do you call these?” said he pointing to his pantaloons.
“不对，那是我的‘藤壶’。那这些你又叫它们什么？”他指着自己的裤子说道。
“Breeches or trousers, or whatever you please, sir.”
“马裤也好，长裤也好，您喜欢怎么叫都行，先生。”
“You must call them 'squibs and crackers.' And what would you call her?” pointing to the cat.
“你必须叫它们‘噼里啪啦’。那这个你又要叫她什么？”他指着那只猫说道。
“Cat or kit, or whatever you please, sir.”
“猫也好，小猫咪也好，您喜欢怎么叫都行，先生。”
“You must call her 'white-faced simminy.' And this now,” showing the fire, “what would you call this?”
“你必须叫她‘白脸小咪咪’。那这个呢，”他指着炉火说，“这个你要叫它什么？”
“Fire or flame, or whatever you please, sir.”
“火也好，火焰也好，您喜欢怎么叫都行，先生。”
“You must call it 'hot cockalorum,' and what this?” he went on, pointing to the water.
“你必须叫它‘热烘烘老爷’。那这个呢？”他继续说道，指着水说。
“Water or wet, or whatever you please, sir.”
“水也好，湿漉漉也好，您喜欢怎么叫都行，先生。”
“No, 'pondalorum' is its name. And what do you call all this?” asked he, as he pointed to the house.
“不对，它的名字叫‘水汪汪老爷’。那这整个地方，你又要叫它什么呢？”他问道，一边指着这栋房子。
“House or cottage, or whatever you please, sir.”
“房子也好，小屋也好，您喜欢怎么叫都行，先生。”
“You must call it 'high topper mountain.'”
“你必须叫它‘顶天山’。”
That very night the servant woke her master up in a fright and said: “Master of all masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers. For white-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on its tail, and unless you get some pondalorum high topper mountain will be all on hot cockalorum.” … That's all.
就在那天夜里，女佣惊慌失措地把主人叫醒，说道：“万主之主啊，快从您的藤壶里出来，穿上您的噼里啪啦。因为白脸小咪咪的尾巴上溅到了热烘烘老爷的火星，要是不赶紧弄些水汪汪老爷来，顶天山可就要变成一片热烘烘老爷了。”……故事就到这里。
