Mr. Vinegar

Mr. and Mrs. Vinegar lived in a vinegar bottle. Now, one day, when Mr. Vinegar was from home, Mrs. Vinegar, who was a very good housewife, was busily sweeping her house, when an unlucky thump of the broom brought the whole house clitter-clatter, clitter-clatter, about her ears. In an agony of grief she rushed forth to meet her husband.

维尼格先生和维尼格太太住在一只醋瓶子里。有一天，维尼格先生出门在外，维尼格太太是个十分能干的主妇，正忙着打扫屋子，谁知一扫帚不小心磕碰了一下，整座屋子稀里哗啦、稀里哗啦地塌了下来，散了个精光。她伤心欲绝，急忙跑出去迎接丈夫。

On seeing him she exclaimed, “Oh, Mr. Vinegar, Mr. Vinegar, we are ruined, I have knocked the house down, and it is all to pieces!” Mr. Vinegar then said: “My dear, let us see what can be done. Here is the door; I will take it on my back, and we will go forth to seek our fortune.”

一见到丈夫，她便喊道：“哦，维尼格先生，维尼格先生，咱们完了，我把房子弄塌了，全都散架了！”维尼格先生便说道：“亲爱的，咱们瞧瞧还能怎么办。这儿有扇门，我背上它，咱们就出门去闯闯运气吧。”

They walked all that day, and at nightfall entered a thick forest. They were both very, very tired, and Mr. Vinegar said: “My love, I will climb up into a tree, drag up the door, and you shall follow.” He accordingly did so, and they both stretched their weary limbs on the door, and fell fast asleep.

他们走了一整天，到了傍晚，走进了一片茂密的森林。两人都累得要命，维尼格先生便说道：“亲爱的，我先爬上这棵树，把门拖上去，你再跟着爬上来。”他说到做到，两人便把疲惫的身子舒展开来，躺在门板上，很快就沉沉睡去了。

In the middle of the night Mr. Vinegar was disturbed by the sound of voices underneath, and to his horror and dismay found that it was a band of thieves met to divide their booty.

半夜时分，维尼格先生被树下传来的说话声吵醒了，他惊恐万分地发现，原来是一伙强盗正聚在那儿分赃。

“Here, Jack,” said one, “here's five pounds for you; here, Bill, here's ten pounds for you; here, Bob, here's three pounds for you.”

“喏，杰克，”一个人说道，“这五镑归你；喏，比尔，这十镑归你；喏，鲍勃，这三镑归你。”

Mr. Vinegar could listen no longer; his terror was so great that he trembled and trembled, and shook down the door on their heads. Away scampered the thieves, but Mr. Vinegar dared not quit his retreat till broad daylight.

维尼格先生实在听不下去了；他吓得浑身发抖，抖啊抖，一不留神竟把那扇门震得掉了下去，正好砸在他们头上。强盗们吓得四散逃窜，可维尼格先生也不敢离开自己的藏身之处，直到天大亮才敢下来。

He then scrambled out of the tree, and went to lift up the door. What did he see but a number of golden guineas. “Come down, Mrs. Vinegar,” he cried; “come down, I say; our fortune's made, our fortune's made! Come down, I say.”

他这才从树上爬下来，去把那扇门抬起来。谁知一看，底下竟是好些个金几尼！“下来吧，维尼格太太，”他喊道，“下来呀，我说；咱们发财了，咱们发财了！快下来呀，我说。”

Mrs. Vinegar got down as fast as she could, and when she saw the money she jumped for joy. “Now, my dear,” said she, “I'll tell you what you shall do. There is a fair at the neighbouring town; you shall take these forty guineas and buy a cow. I can make butter and cheese, which you shall sell at market, and we shall then be able to live very comfortably.”

维尼格太太赶紧爬了下来，一见到那些钱，高兴得跳了起来。“好啦，亲爱的，”她说道，“我来告诉你该怎么办。邻村正好有个集市，你就拿这四十几尼去买头奶牛回来。我能做黄油和奶酪，你拿去集市上卖，咱们往后的日子就能过得挺舒坦了。”

Mr. Vinegar joyfully agrees, takes the money, and off he goes to the fair. When he arrived, he walked up and down, and at length saw a beautiful red cow. It was an excellent milker, and perfect in every way. “Oh,” thought Mr. Vinegar, “if I had but that cow, I should be the happiest, man alive.”

维尼格先生欣然答应，拿了钱便往集市去了。到了地方，他走来走去，终于看中了一头美丽的红毛奶牛。这牛产奶极好，样样都无可挑剔。“哦，”维尼格先生心想，“我要是能得到这头牛，那可就是天底下最幸福的人了。”

So he offers the forty guineas for the cow, and the owner said that, as he was a friend, he'd oblige him. So the bargain was made, and he got the cow and he drove it backwards and forwards to show it.

于是他出了四十几尼买这头牛，牛主人说，看在是朋友的份上，就成全他吧。这桩买卖便谈成了，他牵着牛来来回回地走，好向人炫耀一番。

By-and-by he saw a man playing the bagpipes—Tweedle-dum tweedle-dee. The children followed him about, and he appeared to be pocketing money on all sides. “Well,” thought Mr. Vinegar, “if I had but that beautiful instrument I should be the happiest man alive—my fortune would be made.”

不一会儿，他看见一个人正吹着风笛——嘀嘀嗒，嘀嘀嗒。一群孩子跟在他身后，他看起来四面八方都在往兜里揣钱。“哎呀，”维尼格先生心想，“我要是能有这么一件漂亮的乐器，那可就是天底下最幸福的人了——我这下就能发财了。”

So he went up to the man. “Friend,” says he, “what a beautiful instrument that is, and what a deal of money you must make.” “Why, yes,” said the man, “I make a great deal of money, to be sure, and it is a wonderful instrument.” “Oh!” cried Mr. Vinegar, “how I should like to possess it!” “Well,” said the man, “as you are a friend, I don't much mind parting with it; you shall have it for that red cow.” “Done!” said the delighted Mr. Vinegar. So the beautiful red cow was given for the bagpipes.

于是他走到那人跟前。“朋友，”他说道，“这可真是件漂亮的乐器，你想必赚了不少钱吧。”“哦，是啊，”那人说道，“我确实赚了不少钱，这可是件了不起的乐器呢。”“哦！”维尼格先生叫道，“我可真想拥有它啊！”“这样吧，”那人说道，“既然你我是朋友，我倒也不介意割爱，你就拿那头红牛来换吧。”“成交！”欣喜若狂的维尼格先生说道。于是那头美丽的红毛奶牛，就这样换成了风笛。

He walked up and down with his purchase; but it was in vain he tried to play a tune, and instead of pocketing pence, the boys followed him hooting, laughing, and pelting.

他拿着这件新买卖走来走去；可无论他怎么吹，也吹不出一支像样的曲子来，非但没往兜里赚到一分钱，反倒引来一群男孩跟在后头又是起哄、又是嘲笑、又是扔东西。

Poor Mr. Vinegar, his fingers grew very cold, and, just as he was leaving the town, he met a man with a fine thick pair of gloves. “Oh, my fingers are so very cold,” said Mr. Vinegar to himself. “Now if I had but those beautiful gloves I should be the happiest man alive.”

可怜的维尼格先生，手指头冻得冰凉，就在他快要走出镇子的时候，遇见一个人戴着一副厚实又漂亮的手套。“哦，我这手指头可真冷啊，”维尼格先生自言自语道。“我要是能有这么一副漂亮的手套，那可就是天底下最幸福的人了。”

He went up to the man, and said to him, “Friend, you seem to have a capital pair of gloves there.” “Yes, truly,” cried the man; “and my hands are as warm as possible this cold November day.” “Well,” said Mr. Vinegar, “I should like to have them.” “What will you give?” said the man; “as you are a friend, I don't much mind letting you have them for those bagpipes.” “Done!” cried Mr. Vinegar. He put on the gloves, and felt perfectly happy as he trudged homewards.

他走到那人跟前，说道：“朋友，你这副手套看着可真不错啊。”“是啊，一点不假，”那人喊道，“这十一月的大冷天，我这双手可暖和着呢。”“这样吧，”维尼格先生说道，“我倒挺想要这副手套。”“你打算出什么价呢？”那人问道；“既然你我是朋友，我倒也不介意，你就拿那把风笛来换吧。”“成交！”维尼格先生喊道。他戴上手套，一路往家走，心里头美滋滋的。

At last he grew very tired, when he saw a man coming towards him with a good stout stick in his hand.

到后来他实在累坏了，这时他看见一个人朝他走来，手里拄着一根结实的好拐杖。

“Oh,” said Mr. Vinegar, “that I had but that stick! I should then be the happiest man alive.” He said to the man: “Friend! what a rare good stick you have got.” “Yes,” said the man; “I have used it for many a long mile, and a good friend it has been; but if you have a fancy for it, as you are a friend, I don't mind giving it to you for that pair of gloves.” Mr. Vinegar's hands were so warm, and his legs so tired, that he gladly made the exchange.

“哦，”维尼格先生说道，“我要是能有那根拐杖就好了！那我可就是天底下最幸福的人了。”他对那人说道：“朋友！你这根拐杖可真是难得的好东西啊。”“是啊，”那人说道，“我拄着它走过好多好多里路了，它可真是我的好伙伴；不过你要是喜欢，既然你我是朋友，我倒也不介意，你就拿那副手套来换吧。”维尼格先生的双手正暖和着，两条腿又累得要命，便欣然答应了这桩交换。

As he drew near to the wood where he had left his wife, he heard a parrot on a tree calling out his name: “Mr. Vinegar, you foolish man, you blockhead, you simpleton; you went to the fair, and laid out all your money in buying a cow. Not content with that, you changed it for bagpipes, on which you could not play, and which were not worth one-tenth of the money.

眼看快要走近他留下妻子的那片树林时，他听见树上一只鹦鹉直叫他的名字：“维尼格先生，你这大傻瓜，你这榆木脑袋，你这糊涂蛋；你去了集市，把全部的钱都拿去买了头牛。你还不知足，又拿它换了把你根本不会吹的风笛，那玩意儿连你花的钱的十分之一都不值。

“You fool, you—you had no sooner got the bagpipes than you changed them for the gloves, which were not worth one-quarter of the money; and when you had got the gloves, you changed them for a poor miserable stick; and now for your forty guineas, cow, bagpipes, and gloves, you have nothing to show but that poor miserable stick, which you might have cut in any hedge.” On this the bird laughed and laughed, and Mr. Vinegar, falling into a violent rage, threw the stick at its head.

“你这傻瓜呀——你才刚拿到风笛，就又拿它换了副手套，那手套连风笛的四分之一价钱都不值；等你拿到手套了，又拿它换了一根可怜巴巴的破拐杖；如今你那四十几尼、那头牛、那把风笛、那副手套，全都没了，就只剩下这根可怜巴巴的破拐杖，随便哪道篱笆上你都能砍到一根一模一样的。”这鹦鹉说着，笑了又笑，维尼格先生一时火冒三丈，抡起拐杖朝它的脑袋扔了过去。

The stick lodged in the tree, and he returned to his wife without money, cow, bagpipes, gloves, or stick, and she instantly gave him such a sound cudgelling that she almost broke every bone in his skin.

那根拐杖卡在了树上，他两手空空地回到妻子身边，钱没了，牛没了，风笛没了，手套没了，连拐杖也没了，妻子当场狠狠地揍了他一顿，打得他浑身上下几乎没有一根骨头是好的。