The Jacket That Was Too Big

The uniform jacket reaches Laila's knees. The sleeves cover her hands, and the collar touches her ears.

Jaket seragam itu menjulur sampai lutut Laila. Lengan bajunya menutupi tangannya, dan kerahnya menyentuh telinganya.

She stands at the ferry gate on her first morning. She looks like a child in her father's coat. Passengers walk past her and hold their tickets out without a word. A man hands her an empty cup to throw away. A woman asks her where the real crew is.

Ia berdiri di gerbang kapal feri pada pagi pertamanya. Ia tampak seperti anak kecil yang memakai mantel ayahnya. Para penumpang berjalan melewatinya dan mengulurkan tiket tanpa sepatah kata. Seorang pria menyerahkan cangkir kosong untuk dibuang. Seorang perempuan bertanya di mana awak kapal yang sebenarnya.

"I am the real crew," Laila says in a small voice. Nobody hears her.

"Saya awak kapal yang sebenarnya," kata Laila dengan suara kecil. Tidak ada yang mendengar.

The ferry crosses the bay in eighteen minutes. It carries cars on the lower level and people on the open deck. Laila is fifteen, and this is her first summer job. Her task is simple. She checks tickets, points people to the stairs, and keeps the deck clean.

Kapal feri itu menyeberangi teluk dalam delapan belas menit. Kapal itu mengangkut mobil di dek bawah dan orang-orang di dek terbuka. Laila berumur lima belas tahun, dan ini pekerjaan musim panas pertamanya. Tugasnya sederhana. Ia memeriksa tiket, menunjukkan tangga kepada orang-orang, dan menjaga dek tetap bersih.

The man who trains her is called Rumi. He is nineteen, thin and always smiling. His uniform fits him perfectly.

Pria yang melatihnya bernama Rumi. Umurnya sembilan belas tahun, kurus dan selalu tersenyum. Seragamnya pas sekali di badannya.

"Do not worry about the jacket," Rumi says. He folds her sleeves back twice, and they fall down again. "They only have one size for new staff. The next box arrives in September."

"Jangan khawatirkan jaketnya," kata Rumi. Ia melipat lengan baju Laila dua kali, dan lipatannya jatuh lagi. "Untuk staf baru mereka cuma punya satu ukuran. Kotak berikutnya datang bulan September."

"September is the end of the summer," Laila says.

"September itu akhir musim panas," kata Laila.

"That is how a summer job works," he answers cheerfully.

"Begitulah cara kerja pekerjaan musim panas," jawabnya riang.

During the first week, she learns the rules. She learns to count the life rings and to open the gate before the ramp comes down. She learns that seagulls steal food from anyone who looks away. What she does not learn is how to make people listen. Her voice is soft, and the engine is loud.

Selama minggu pertama, ia mempelajari aturan-aturannya. Ia belajar menghitung pelampung penyelamat dan membuka gerbang sebelum landasan diturunkan. Ia belajar bahwa burung camar mencuri makanan dari siapa saja yang lengah. Yang tidak ia pelajari adalah cara membuat orang mau mendengarkan. Suaranya lembut, dan mesinnya keras.

Every hour, a recorded message plays on the speakers. A deep voice explains where the life jackets are. Laila listens to it every day, and she knows the words by heart. Every day she thinks the same thing. That voice sounds like someone who is never ignored.

Setiap jam, sebuah pesan rekaman diputar lewat pengeras suara. Suara yang berat menjelaskan di mana letak jaket pelampung. Laila mendengarkannya setiap hari, dan ia hafal kata-katanya. Setiap hari ia memikirkan hal yang sama. Suara itu terdengar seperti milik orang yang tidak pernah diabaikan.

On Friday, she finds the courage to ask.

Pada hari Jumat, ia memberanikan diri bertanya.

The ferry is empty on the return trip, except for a few students on the top deck. Rumi sits on a bench and eats an orange. Laila stands in front of him and pulls her sleeves down.

Kapal feri kosong dalam perjalanan pulang, kecuali beberapa pelajar di dek atas. Rumi duduk di bangku dan makan jeruk. Laila berdiri di depannya dan menarik lengan bajunya ke bawah.

"Can I tell you something?" she asks.

"Boleh aku bilang sesuatu?" tanyanya.

"You can tell me anything. I cannot promise I will fix it."

"Kamu boleh bilang apa saja. Aku tidak bisa janji bisa memperbaikinya."

"I want to make the announcement. Just once. Live, with the microphone, not the recording."

"Aku ingin membuat pengumuman. Sekali saja. Langsung, pakai mikrofon, bukan rekaman."

Rumi stops eating. He looks at her for a long moment, and she is sure he will laugh.

Rumi berhenti makan. Ia menatapnya lama, dan Laila yakin ia akan tertawa.

"Why?" he asks.

"Kenapa?" tanyanya.

"Because nobody here listens to me," she says. "I am the girl in the big jacket. If I use the microphone, they will have to hear me."

"Karena tidak ada yang mendengarkan aku di sini," katanya. "Aku si gadis berjaket kebesaran. Kalau aku pakai mikrofon, mereka harus mendengarku."

Rumi puts the orange down. "The captain decides about the microphone. But I will ask him."

Rumi meletakkan jeruknya. "Kaptenlah yang memutuskan soal mikrofon. Tapi aku akan bertanya padanya."

"Really?"

"Sungguh?"

"Really. Be ready on Monday."

"Sungguh. Bersiaplah hari Senin."

All weekend, Laila practises in her room. She stands in front of the mirror and reads the safety words aloud. She tries a low voice, then a loud voice, then a voice like the recording. Her sister knocks on the wall and tells her to stop.

Sepanjang akhir pekan, Laila berlatih di kamarnya. Ia berdiri di depan cermin dan membaca kata-kata keselamatan dengan lantang. Ia mencoba suara rendah, lalu suara keras, lalu suara seperti rekaman itu. Kakaknya mengetuk dinding dan menyuruhnya berhenti.

On Monday morning, the captain nods once. He is a quiet man with a short beard. He gives her a card with the words and points at the small room behind the bridge.

Pada Senin pagi, kapten mengangguk sekali. Ia pria pendiam dengan jenggot pendek. Ia memberinya sebuah kartu berisi kata-kata itu dan menunjuk ruangan kecil di belakang anjungan.

"Eleven o'clock crossing," he says. "Speak slowly. Do not shout."

"Penyeberangan pukul sebelas," katanya. "Bicaralah pelan-pelan. Jangan berteriak."

At eleven, the ferry is full. The deck is crowded with families, bikes and bags. Laila stands in the small room with the microphone in her hands. Her sleeves hide her fingers, so nobody can see how much they shake.

Pukul sebelas, kapal feri penuh. Dek ramai oleh keluarga, sepeda, dan tas. Laila berdiri di ruangan kecil itu dengan mikrofon di tangannya. Lengan bajunya menyembunyikan jari-jarinya, jadi tidak ada yang bisa melihat betapa gemetarnya jari-jari itu.

She looks at the card. The words swim in front of her eyes. She takes a breath and puts her mouth close to the microphone.

Ia menatap kartu itu. Kata-katanya berenang di depan matanya. Ia menarik napas dan mendekatkan mulutnya ke mikrofon.

Then the door opens, and Rumi rushes in. His face is not smiling any more.

Lalu pintu terbuka, dan Rumi bergegas masuk. Wajahnya tidak tersenyum lagi.

"Wait," he says. "Not the safety message. Something has happened."

"Tunggu," katanya. "Jangan pesan keselamatan. Ada sesuatu yang terjadi."

"What?"

"Apa?"

"A little boy is missing. His mother says he was beside her a minute ago. She is on the lower deck, and she is crying."

"Seorang anak laki-laki kecil hilang. Ibunya bilang tadi dia ada di sampingnya semenit yang lalu. Ibunya ada di dek bawah, dan dia menangis."

Laila's stomach drops. "How old is he?"

Perut Laila serasa jatuh. "Umurnya berapa?"

"About four. He wears a yellow shirt and has no shoes. The captain says we must tell everyone on board."

"Sekitar empat tahun. Dia memakai kaus kuning dan tidak memakai sepatu. Kata kapten kita harus memberi tahu semua orang di kapal."

Rumi pushes the microphone toward her. "You have the card in your hand, and you are already here. Will you do it?"

Rumi mendorong mikrofon itu ke arahnya. "Kartunya ada di tanganmu, dan kamu sudah ada di sini. Maukah kamu melakukannya?"

For a second, she cannot move. This is not the announcement she asked for. There are no practised words on a card, and her heart is beating very fast.

Sesaat, ia tidak bisa bergerak. Ini bukan pengumuman yang ia minta. Tidak ada kata-kata yang sudah dilatih di kartu, dan jantungnya berdetak sangat cepat.

Then she thinks about the boy. She thinks about how small he must feel on this big, noisy boat.

Lalu ia memikirkan anak itu. Ia memikirkan betapa kecilnya anak itu pasti merasa di kapal yang besar dan bising ini.

She presses the button. "Good morning, everyone," she says.

Ia menekan tombol. "Selamat pagi, semuanya," katanya.

Her voice sounds thin. Out on the deck, a few people look up.

Suaranya terdengar tipis. Di dek luar, beberapa orang menoleh.

She tries again, slower. "Excuse me. We are looking for a little boy. He is about four years old, in a yellow shirt, and he has no shoes. His mother is waiting by the car stairs. If you see him, please bring him to the front gate."

Ia mencoba lagi, lebih pelan. "Permisi. Kami sedang mencari seorang anak laki-laki kecil. Umurnya sekitar empat tahun, memakai kaus kuning, dan tidak memakai sepatu. Ibunya menunggu di dekat tangga mobil. Kalau Anda melihatnya, tolong bawa dia ke gerbang depan."

She stops. The ferry is very quiet. Even the engine seems to be listening.

Ia berhenti. Kapal feri itu sangat sunyi. Bahkan mesinnya seperti ikut mendengarkan.

Then voices come back all at once. People stand up. Parents look under benches. Someone shouts that they are checking the toilets. A man on the top deck calls out that he has not seen him yet.

Lalu suara-suara kembali serentak. Orang-orang berdiri. Para orang tua melihat ke bawah bangku. Seseorang berteriak bahwa mereka sedang memeriksa toilet. Seorang pria di dek atas berseru bahwa ia belum melihatnya.

Laila runs out of the room with Rumi, and her big sleeves flap around her. They search the lower deck first. They look between the cars, behind the life ring boxes and around the coils of rope.

Laila berlari keluar dari ruangan itu bersama Rumi, dan lengan bajunya yang besar berkibar di sekelilingnya. Mereka mencari di dek bawah lebih dulu. Mereka memeriksa di antara mobil-mobil, di belakang kotak pelampung, dan di sekitar gulungan tali.

After five minutes, she hears a small sound. It comes from the narrow space behind the stairs, where the cleaning cart stands. She bends down and looks into the dark.

Setelah lima menit, ia mendengar suara kecil. Suara itu datang dari celah sempit di belakang tangga, tempat kereta dorong pembersih berada. Ia membungkuk dan melihat ke dalam kegelapan.

A small boy sits there with his arms around his knees. His yellow shirt is wet with tears.

Seorang anak laki-laki kecil duduk di sana memeluk lututnya. Kaus kuningnya basah oleh air mata.

"Hello," Laila says softly. "I am Laila. Did you hide in here?"

"Halo," kata Laila lembut. "Aku Laila. Kamu sembunyi di sini?"

He nods slowly. "The boat is too loud."

Anak itu mengangguk pelan. "Kapalnya terlalu berisik."

"I know. It is loud for me too." She takes off her jacket, the huge one, and holds it open. "Look. This is a very big coat. It is almost a tent. Would you like to sit inside until we find your mum?"

"Aku tahu. Buatku juga berisik." Ia melepas jaketnya, jaket raksasa itu, dan membukanya lebar-lebar. "Lihat. Ini mantel yang sangat besar. Hampir seperti tenda. Mau duduk di dalamnya sampai kita menemukan ibumu?"

The boy thinks about it for a long second. Then he crawls out and walks into the jacket. She wraps it around him, and the sleeves cover his hands as well. He stops crying and looks up at her with big eyes.

Anak itu berpikir lama sekali. Lalu ia merangkak keluar dan masuk ke dalam jaket. Laila membungkusnya dengan jaket itu, dan lengan bajunya menutupi tangan anak itu juga. Ia berhenti menangis dan menatapnya dengan mata besar.

"It smells like the sea," he says.

"Baunya seperti laut," katanya.

"It does," says Laila, and she smiles.

"Memang," kata Laila, dan ia tersenyum.

She carries him up the stairs, with the jacket dragging along the floor. His mother meets them halfway, and she is crying again. She takes her son in her arms. She does not say thank you at first, because she cannot speak. She just holds him.

Ia menggendong anak itu menaiki tangga, dengan jaket yang terseret di lantai. Ibunya menemui mereka di tengah jalan, dan ia menangis lagi. Ia memeluk anaknya. Awalnya ia tidak mengucapkan terima kasih, karena ia tidak bisa bicara. Ia hanya memeluknya.

Later, on the ramp, the captain stands next to Laila. "Your voice carried well," he says.

Kemudian, di landasan, kapten berdiri di samping Laila. "Suaramu terdengar jelas," katanya.

"It was only because they wanted to hear it," Laila answers.

"Itu cuma karena mereka ingin mendengarnya," jawab Laila.

"No," he says. "People always want to hear the right words from someone who means them."

"Bukan," katanya. "Orang selalu ingin mendengar kata-kata yang tepat dari seseorang yang bersungguh-sungguh."

Laila gets her jacket back at the next stop. The boy's mother has folded it neatly before returning it. As she puts the jacket on, Laila feels something small and hard in the pocket. She takes it out. It is a yellow plastic button from the boy's shirt. She does not know when it fell inside.

Laila mendapatkan jaketnya kembali di pemberhentian berikutnya. Ibu anak itu telah melipatnya dengan rapi sebelum mengembalikannya. Saat memakai jaket itu, Laila merasakan sesuatu yang kecil dan keras di saku. Ia mengeluarkannya. Itu sebuah kancing plastik kuning dari kaus anak itu. Ia tidak tahu kapan kancing itu jatuh ke dalam.

She holds it in her palm, and the ferry begins to cross the bay again.

Ia menggenggamnya di telapak tangan, dan kapal feri mulai menyeberangi teluk lagi.