The Application He Changed

For six months, Darius had been keeping a secret from his father. While everyone at home believed he was only applying to engineering programs, he had quietly submitted an audition tape to a conservatory two states away.

Selama enam bulan, Darius menyimpan rahasia dari ayahnya. Sementara semua orang di rumah mengira ia hanya mendaftar ke program teknik, diam-diam ia telah mengirim rekaman audisi ke sebuah konservatori yang jaraknya dua negara bagian dari rumah.

His father had studied mechanical engineering himself, and he had always assumed his son would follow the same path. His father had often said, in different words, that engineering was simply the safe choice for someone who wanted a stable life.

Ayahnya sendiri lulusan teknik mesin, dan ia selalu mengira putranya akan mengikuti jalan yang sama. Dengan berbagai ungkapan, ayahnya sering berkata bahwa teknik adalah pilihan yang aman bagi orang yang menginginkan hidup stabil.

The letter arrived on a Tuesday, addressed to Darius but opened by his father before anyone noticed the return address. By the time Darius came home from school, his father was sitting at the kitchen table with the letter in his hands.

Surat itu tiba pada hari Selasa, ditujukan kepada Darius tetapi dibuka oleh ayahnya sebelum ada yang menyadari alamat pengirimnya. Ketika Darius pulang dari sekolah, ayahnya sudah duduk di meja dapur sambil memegang surat itu.

"You were accepted into a conservatory," his father said flatly. "I didn't even know you'd applied."

"Kamu diterima di sebuah konservatori," kata ayahnya datar. "Ayah bahkan tidak tahu kamu mendaftar."

Darius froze in the doorway. He had planned to explain everything calmly, once he had an offer in hand and evidence that the decision was serious. Instead, the conversation was happening exactly the way he had hoped to avoid.

Darius membeku di ambang pintu. Ia sudah berencana menjelaskan semuanya dengan tenang, setelah ia memegang tawaran resmi dan bukti bahwa keputusannya serius. Namun, percakapan ini justru terjadi persis seperti yang ingin ia hindari.

"I should have told you before I sent it in," Darius admitted. "I was afraid you'd tell me not to bother."

"Seharusnya aku bilang sebelum mengirimnya," Darius mengakui. "Aku takut Ayah menyuruhku tidak usah repot-repot."

If his father forbade it outright, Darius already knew he would apply again next year anyway. His father was quiet, turning the letter over as if it might explain itself. He had assumed, without ever really asking, that his son's plans matched his own.

Seandainya ayahnya melarang dengan tegas, Darius sudah tahu bahwa ia akan mendaftar lagi tahun depan. Ayahnya diam, membolak-balik surat itu seakan-akan surat itu bisa menjelaskan dirinya sendiri. Tanpa pernah benar-benar bertanya, ia sudah menganggap rencana putranya sama dengan rencananya sendiri.

"If you had told me from the start, I would have had questions," his father said slowly. "I still have questions. But that's different from telling you no."

"Kalau kamu bilang sejak awal, Ayah pasti punya pertanyaan," kata ayahnya pelan. "Sekarang pun Ayah masih punya pertanyaan. Tapi itu berbeda dengan melarangmu."

"I know composition doesn't sound practical," Darius said. "I'm not asking you to pretend it's an easy path."

"Aku tahu komposisi musik kedengarannya tidak praktis," kata Darius. "Aku tidak meminta Ayah berpura-pura bahwa jalan ini mudah."

His father set the letter down on the table, facing Darius. "I'm not going to pretend I understand it yet. However, I'd rather hear about it from you than find it out by opening your mail."

Ayahnya meletakkan surat itu di meja, menghadap Darius. "Ayah tidak akan berpura-pura sudah mengerti. Tapi Ayah lebih suka mendengarnya langsung darimu daripada mengetahuinya karena membuka suratmu."

For the first time in months, Darius sat down across from his father and started explaining, from the beginning, what he actually wanted.

Untuk pertama kalinya setelah berbulan-bulan, Darius duduk di seberang ayahnya dan mulai menjelaskan dari awal apa yang sebenarnya ia inginkan.