Cover of The Elevator Avoidance Plan

Derek has a plan for avoiding his ex-girlfriend Renata in the elevator. He has been perfecting it for three weeks.

Step one: check the lobby before walking in. Step two: if she's anywhere near the elevator bank, take the stairs instead. That means all eleven flights, no matter how unpleasant that sounds at eight in the morning. Step three: if he's already in the elevator and she gets on, stare at his phone. Keep staring until his floor arrives.

It has worked, more or less, until today.

This morning, Derek checks the lobby carefully and sees no sign of Renata. He steps into the elevator feeling confident. The doors are almost closed when a hand reaches through the gap, and the doors slide back open.

It's Renata.

Derek's stomach drops. He immediately pulls out his phone and stares at it with real intensity. He looks like he's reading something extremely important. The screen is actually just his lock screen.

"Derek," Renata says, sounding amused. "You can put the phone down. I already know it's you."

"I'm just… checking something," he says, not looking up.

"For three weeks?" she asks. "Because I've noticed you taking the stairs every single morning, even in that ridiculous heat last week."

Derek finally looks up, caught. "You noticed that?"

"Everyone in the building has noticed that. Security asked me if you were training for something."

He laughs despite himself, mostly out of embarrassment. "Okay. I was avoiding you. It felt easier than an awkward conversation in a small metal box."

"I figured," Renata says. "For what it's worth, I've been doing the same thing on the third floor. I hide behind the vending machine whenever I see you coming."

They stand there for a second, both a little stunned. They've each put real effort into avoiding a five-second interaction.

"This is objectively ridiculous," Derek says.

"Completely ridiculous," Renata agrees. "Want to just… take the elevator normally from now on?"

"Deal," Derek says. "Though I might miss the stairs. My legs have never looked better."

Renata laughs. For the first time in three weeks, they ride up together without staring at their phones.

🧠 Check your understanding

  1. What has Derek been doing for three weeks?

    Show answer

    Answer: Taking the stairs to avoid his ex-girlfriend Renata in the elevator

    Derek has a plan involving checking the lobby and taking the stairs to avoid running into Renata in the elevator.

  2. What does Renata reveal she has also been doing?

    Show answer

    Answer: Hiding behind the vending machine whenever she sees him coming

    Renata admits she has been doing the same thing on the third floor, hiding behind the vending machine.

  3. How does the story end?

    Show answer

    Answer: They agree to just take the elevator normally from now on

    Renata suggests they just take the elevator normally, and they ride up together without staring at their phones.

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